domingo, 27 de diciembre de 2009

Anticipating 2010, some quotes I want to keep in mind...

"I've learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way he/she handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights."

-Maya Angelou

The proper function of man is to live - not to exist." -- Jack London

"Pray, pray to the Lord with me, because the whole world needs prayer. And every day, when your heart especially feels the loneliness of life, pray. Pray to the Lord, because even God needs our prayers."

— St. Pio of Pietrelcina

when you know that you're capable of dealing with whatever comes, you have the only security the world has to offer.

- Harry Browne


FIND JOY in each day

God doesn't create junk!

martes, 22 de diciembre de 2009

Two Latin Phrases and What They Mean to Me

I really think learning some Latin would bring about good things both in my native language, English, and my second language, Spanish.

I own a book about Latin and have learned a few words that have helped me to expand my vocabulary. I'm kind of a word freak, I love being able to learn and use new words. Also, looking at medical terminology, I have learned Latin and Greek word parts that have made me feel a little smarter....

Ok, so here's the first phrase:

Dum spiro, spero. While I breathe, I hope.

Hope is the thing that keeps me going. I am a very kind and intelligent person, but sometimes I am very worried, very stressed, and very hard on myself. Some of this is from the fact that I have low self esteem, but I think part of it is also my relationship with God. I am aware of how perfect God is and how imperfect I am. From the time I was a little kid, I have had a guilty conscience. My parents say that I punished myself when I did something. Weird, huh?

I think my relationship with God leaves something to be desired. I am a person who knows I'm not able to do it all, but it is hard for me to give up control even though I know that God knows all, can do all, and will care for me in a way that is best for me. I am working on trusting him more.

Hope is not only the name of the church I have gone to for years, but it is the thing that keeps me going when life attempts to give me a kick in the rear end.

I am getting a lot from Teresa of Avila's Interior Castle and studying her life. I feel like she was very human in spite of experiencing God in very special ways.

Right now God has sent me a lot of peace but also some challenges as well. I know that the events of the world's horrible way of doing things will keep on going until the world ends, but I know that God can give me internal peace and keep me hoping for something better in my life and in my soul. I consider hoping for peace one of my main goals in life. As long as I'm breathing I am hoping.

Cogito ergo sum. I think, therefore I am.

I feel very blessed to be very intellectual. Some people would look at the words nerdy or geeky as bad. I take those as compliments. I have been crowned (my mom calls me this) "The Queen of Useless Information." It has a use to me, making me feel knowledgeable and just giving me a pleasant smile to know and think about things!

I have experienced some environments in my life where people showed themselves to have academics much lower on their priorities than they were on mine. In high school I am sure a ton of people put sports, boyfriends/girlfriends, drugs, sex above being successful in school. In college it was the same. I made a point of being around positive people who didn't partake in negative behaviors.

I know there is more to life than academics. It is necessary to have love and friendship in your life. My life would be very cold and boring without learning!

It is with the group of people I got to know senior year of high school and beyond - Quiz Bowl - that really made me feel like I was able to be myself. We differed a bit in personality, but to this day I am still in contact with some of my Quiz Bowl friends. It is the feeling that being with these people - acceptance - that I seek in my professional life as perhaps a future professor. I also seek that in my personal life. I want friends who accept me and who I accept for who they are. Some day, God willing, I want a boyfriend/husband that epitomizes this (and is other things too, things that help me to be a better me!)

I've gone a bit astray from what I had intended to say, but I think what I've said has been good. Point is, I don't know where I'd be if thinking, knowledge, and education weren't a part of my life. I feel very fortunate to have been given an education that encourages me to think, to question, to find more about this world we live in.

I know not all people are like this. I just want to find some nerdy friends to let me be as I am!

miércoles, 16 de diciembre de 2009

New Year's?

I know Christmas isn't even here yet, but I am already thinking about new beginnings, like that of 2010. It is crazy to think that we're going into the second decade of the 2000s! I feel so different right now from the way I was even in 2004. Besides my feelings about changes in me since that time, a lot has changed even since last New Year's. Let's start with negatives....
  • lost a boyfriend
  • lost a job
  • got stressed
  • slept too much
  • ate too much
  • generally lived a lazy life
But now some positives
  • realized that what I had in a boyfriend was not what I wanted and not what I deserved
  • drove places alone and actually made it to where I needed to be, when I needed to be there!
  • spoke Spanish to people at the Immersion, understood others and was understood by them
  • slept in a hotel room by myself
  • went to Curves and worked out some
  • gained a sense of self-worth
  • gained peace within (more than I had before)
  • found out about my thyroid condition and got help for it
  • found out the ones who really truly care for me and my well-being
  • signed up for a Master's program
Now for New Year's resolutions....I think I'd better make them few so that I can more easily met.
  • Seek God above all things
  • Care for myself. Physically, mentally, emotionally. I am worth it.
  • Think the best of myself.
  • Live a life that challenges me intellectually
  • Seek out adventure - Spain!
  • Find what in life makes me happy.
  • Find others who can accept me in spite of my faults.
  • Accept others in spite of their faults.
Now, below is a note I previously had on facebook, but thought it was applicable....
If money was no object and your success was guaranteed, what would you want in your life?
I would travel to Spanish speaking nations and Europe.
Live in tons of countries!
I would be a college professor.
I would write papers and give talks on things related to Spanish and culture.
I would be a Dr.!
I would have students who liked me!
I would dance!
I would be a lean, mean teaching, researching, lecturing machine!
I would be in shape.
I would know how awesome I am and feel confident in myself.
I would be happy with my life even if I were single.

If you decided to never again accept anything less than everything what would you do?
I would go to grad school.
I would get a PhD.
I would not think that I couldn´t do things. I would go out and try them.
I would recognize when I make mistakes but not stew in the juice of my own misery...
I would make my dreams come true.
I would thoughtfully put effort towards everything I did.

martes, 8 de diciembre de 2009

Snow Day Musings....

I really think that God knows what we need. I had a really bad Monday, and Tuesday, we had a snow day. It may not be for the reasons that I think, but for the simple fact that God wants me to sit quietly and think of all my blessings, and the plan that he has for my life.

This Christmas is going to be a very happy time. God has given me so much and I am thankful for it all. I am a very talented person, and the job I was in was just not the one for me. There is nothing wrong with me walking away from this. I will find my niche one said that the first job you ever have is going to be the one that you stay in.

I am so very glad that I am going to Spain. My parents are really nice to let me move back until I get back on my feet. I felt a little guilty when faced with the idea, but my mom doesn't just give me hugs. She told me that I am a person who contributes, and not a person who uses her parents. I hope I never get to that point. I am sure I'm not that person.

I am a person who likes to dream and likes to pine away for things. My issue in life has been that I am very good at dreaming of my future, not so good at making it happen. I intend to make that happen, professionally and personally.

I am going to see what God has in store for me. I love the fact that I chose to buy some books to do a paper between my second and third years of UNISSIST. The Interior Castle by St. Teresa of Avila has really spoken to me. Here's a few things that I have gotten from it.
  • God sends us challenges because he cares for us and knows we can handle them.
  • Being humble means realizing that without God, nothing good can happen.
  • God might take time in making a decision, and it might not be the one we want, but it's for the best. We need to surrender ourselves to his will.
  • True, lasting peace is only to be found in God.

miércoles, 2 de diciembre de 2009

Difficult Decision

I have made a difficult decision. I think it is the right one. My family supports me, and I think the whole experience is going to make me trust God a lot more. I am trying not to feel worthless in spite of the stress I've experienced and the feeling of failure. I have a lot going for me, and I am going to make the most of who I am.

I am glad that I have started my research of Teresa of Avila. I can find a lot to apply to my own life in her work.

That's all. Oh, except, I had some life experiences today. Namely, my first x-ray, CBC, and UA.