martes, 30 de marzo de 2010

viernes, 19 de marzo de 2010

Snow Patrol, "Chocolate"

This could be the very minute
I'm aware I'm alive
All these places feel like home
I can make my first steps
As a child of 25
It is amazing how placing your ITunes on Shuffle can bring you some very philisophical and "meaning of life" thoughts. I am just that sort of person.

I have had an amazing week with an amazing man. We were friends in high school but have really reconnected again since then, and he is now, I am proud to say, my boyfriend.

I thank God every day for the mere chance to be alive but I am really finding joy in every moment. And it isn't just the boyfriend. Though he has a lot to do with it.

Now I'm not 25 yet, but I feel as if I am really making my first steps. Going to Spain, stepping out of my comfort zone to ask someone out, speaking my mind, acting upon my own thoughts, wishes, and desires. I am finding comfort in my own skin and in the life of someone else. In spite of the extreme drama and stress I've been through in the last year, it feels like it was a rough patch of sea I had to sail through in order to get to the beautiful waters ahead. I hope to find my dream job soon and make my joy complete, but God knows what he has in mind for me.

I know life is going to throw me curve balls and that just because I am feeling like everything is (almost) perfect now doesn't mean that everything is going to stay that way. However, I am very appreciative of the blessings I have right now. I am going to do what I can to really savor this joy and happiness and realize that even in my darkest moments, that there is a plan God has in mind. Did I expect to feel this way after the time I've had? Not at all. But I think it is the unexpected nature of all this that really makes me value it. God is good. Life is good.

lunes, 15 de marzo de 2010

Cooking attempt 1

Ok my last blog about food was rather lofty. Making it simple --I want to make the following in the next few weeks:
Sesame Noodles
Crab Baked Spring Rolls (like egg rolls but not fried)

Guava turnovers (miracle of miracles I found guava paste in the Latino aisle at wally world!)

Banana and Chocolate Mascarpone crepes

Easy Paella (not as hard as the real stuff so hopefully I will be capable of pulling it off.)

We shall see how these 4-5 attempts (something about the spring rolls makes me want to eat them with the noodles) turn out.

domingo, 14 de marzo de 2010

great song!

sábado, 13 de marzo de 2010

Feeling in a Julie and Julia mood....

Of course, i haven't read the book (it's on its way) and I haven't seen the movie. But I want to learn how to cook a lot better than I do! I am a feminista but somehow I feel like my skills to feed myself (and whoever one day may depend on me to feed them....) could use improvement. If you knew my last name you'd also understand why. It's Cook (though spelled differently).

Maybe it's the fact that my date on Friday seems to have cooking skills far superior to mine. And he's still in college....I have been out of college for 2 years.....shame on me! There are reasons for said skills on his part and lack thereof on my part. I guess it's just laziness. I have made my share of sandwiches, bowls of cereal, mac and cheese, and burnt pizzas. : (

Below is a broad list of the foods and specific recipes I want to, at some point in my life. I'm starting now!

I actually have made Mexican Lasagna for my fam, as well as occassional easier things to make. As long as I have a recipe I can do quite well. So I know I am capable of achieving it.

Broadly....I wish to learn how to make
• Mexican Dishes
• Spanish Dishes (aka tapas)
• Other Latin-American types of cuisine
• 30 Minute Meals from mi amiga Rachel Ray!
• Asian style cuisine
• Fun appetizers on the chance that one day I may throw a party!
• Yummy drinks, alcoholic or non

Specific Recipes I want to comes a long list....
• Sangria -- I have actually done a nonalcoholic version at the Immersion last summer! Along with tapas that involved french bread, cream cheese, olives, and sardines (eww)
• Paella (Rachel Ray style first....much easier than others)
• Rice and beans mmmmm yum! also Gallo Pinto
• Juevos Ranchersos (I can make eggs! Halfway there!)
• Sesame Noodles
• Spring Rolls (not fried but VIetnamese style cold)
• Hearts of Palm salad.... yum!
• Cheddar Herb Biscuits like from Red Lobster
• tostadas....with chicken or shrimp
• Shrimp Scampi
• Fried Plantains
• Enchiladas
• Eggplant Parmesan
• Tamales
• Crepes (mmm yum!)
• Cerviche (that's way out there but still sounds fun)

Baking (I am less good at this since you have to be more precise in measuring)
• Rosca de los Reyes (Three King's Bread)
• Pan de Muerto (Bread of the Dead)
• Oreo truffles
• Special K bars
• Guava turnovers!
• Empanadas!!!

In general my food tastes lean this way....
• chocolatey
• avacados in anything
• shrimp, seafood, yummyness
• Latino (so I can cook for my future Spanish classes)
• Things with bread, rice, or pasta
• Soups that are yummy!

I'll let you know how I do. Hopefully I can bring some of my dreams of being a Cook who can cook into reality.

jueves, 11 de marzo de 2010

Lovin' the butterflies fluttering around in my stomach....

In the past year I've experienced the lowest of lows. But I also feel like life is turning around full circle and right now can be seen as a high point in my life.

I am working and have yet to feel like I have NOT been successful. That is about 20 days of subbing. Speaks very well for the school I'm at.
I am seeking out good things in my life, not sticking with sucky ones just because I am afraid of change.
I am standing up for myself in ways I couldn't have imagined before! *aka speaking my mind*
I am making it a point to be around people who respect and appreciate me.
I am not perfect by any means. But I deserve good things.
I have....peace, joy, love of my family and friends, perhaps a little romance as well!
I am finally getting to know who I am and loving that person, as flawed as she is.
I still have to control my imagination sometimes. My mind just sort of flips into dream mode. This is ok but I need to make sure my focus on the present and making it the best I can.

I have a date tomorrow. I am excited because this person is a friend I've had for many years, but there is a mutual admiration between us that is unheard of in my prior dating life. I always seemed to have some guy liking me and I took a chance on them, talking myself into liking them. No such thing in my current potential relationship.

This guy is one I can see myself being happy with! I think it is true when it is said that the best things in life are the most unexpected.

I think if this was a year ago and I felt this, I wouldn't have been brave enough to realize what I want my life and to actually follow through with my actions in order to make that possible.

It's like I'm Me Version 2.0!!!

lunes, 8 de marzo de 2010

Language blabber and potential romance....interesting mix!

My family recieved something from the Census today. And they have it first in English, then in Spanish, Chinese, Korean, Laotian, and then Russian.

While I do think that everyone who lives in the United States of America should learn English, I think it is important for there to be first language resources available to help support those whose English proficiency isn't very high. That's all I have to say about that.

Now to the potential romance. :) I think it is so strange that the person who really might be right for us is someone unexpected. So much about my friendship with this person has been awesome and super good for me, so I can only see positive things for it going to a different level.

Life is very good right now.

domingo, 7 de marzo de 2010


A person's current loves in music say a lot to their state of mind, feelings, etc. Here is a list of aweomeness that I am listening to at this point in my life.

Jesús Verbo No Sustantivo (Spanish Version) 6:47 Ricardo Arjona
God doesn't want us to just love him and do nothing about it. He wants us to go out into the world and really make a positive effect and care for our fellow man.
Jesus is a verb, not a noun!

Two Is Better Than One (feat. Taylor Swift) 4:04 Boys Like Girls
Amazing song. Two is better than one only if that +1 really is worth it.

Damaged 4:09 Danity Kane
My heart needs some healing. But life is helping me to protect it and only risk it with those who I think won't hurt it.

According to You 3:20 Orianthi
This is my anthem currently!

Whataya Want from Me 3:47 Adam Lambert
Somedays you just want to say to the world, what do you want from me?

I Want to Know What Love Is 5:01 Foreigner
I do want to know what love is! Doesn't hurt that Josh Groban sang it on Ellen while dressed like an Avatar character on the Oscars Special.

Be Italian 4:12 Fergie Nine (Original Motion Picture Soundtrack)
Something very sexy about this song. Fergie does that! Kind of a good statement about carpe diem and taking chances in love. Not necessarily just for Italians. Be a singer! Be a lover! Pick the flower before the chance is past!

Taking Chances 4:03 Céline Dion
Saw it first on Glee but Celine does it awesomely as the original. Life is about taking risks even though there's no guarantee that things will turn out the way you want them to.

Kerosene 3:06 Miranda Lambert Kerosene Country 100 5
Trying to be at peace with what happened in the past. But somewhere inside the desire to start fires is touched at by this song. Not that I'd ever do that....really, I wouldn't! I would just listen to songs about it, I swear.

Any Man of Mine 4:07 Shania Twain
Doesn't every woman want a man like she sings about? "When I'm cookin dinner and I burnt it black he better say, mmm I like it like that!"

Chicks Dig It 3:31 Chris Cagle
Not that you should go out and cause trouble just because girls like it. But chicks do dig some stuff. I know it, I'm a chick.

My Life Would Suck Without You (Glee Cast Version) 3:32 Glee Cast
"I know that I've got issues, but you're pretty messed up too." I don't actually feel all the lyrics to this song, but it is just the type of upbeat tune that mirrors my attitude these days.

Don't Rain On My Parade (Glee Cast Version) 2:45
Don't you dare rain on my parade! I am the star of it! Amazing song!

You Can't Always Get What You Want (Glee Cast Version) 3:27
Isn't it true. If you try sometimes, you get what you need! Life has a way of showing us what we need even though it's the complete opposite of what we wanted before.

Lovin' the soundtrack to "Nine"

If you want to make a woman happy, rely on what you’re born with, because it is in your blood.

Be Italian
Be Italian
take a chance and try to steal a fiery kiss
be Italian
be Italian
when you hold me don’t just hold me but hold this
please be gentle, sentimental
go ahead and try to give my cheek a pat
but be daring and uncaring
when you pinch me try to pinch me where there’s fat
be a singer be a lover
pick the flower now before the chance is past
be Italian
be Italian
live today as if it may become your last!

10 amazing things that enrich my life

1. Having a relationship with God. Knowing that no matter how bad I mess up, that I am forgiven. Peace, love, happiness....they all come from one place.

2. Friends. People who really "get" me. There is nothing better.

3. Travel -- going to a place with a different culture, language, etc. Seeing the sights and letting the experience change me.

4. Chocolate. Avacados. A yummy fruity drink. Eating and drinking things that make my tongue say, "yay!"

5. Books -- getting lost in another world, imagining the story, and again, letting the experience change me.

6. Isabel Allende -- the most amazing author ever. Her book "Cuentos de Eva Luna" is amazing and started my love for her books.

7. Speaking Spanish. Communicating with natives, learning new ways of expressing myself.

8. Knowing there is one place in the world you can go where you are loved no matter what, with my family.

9. Being a weirdo and having people who are just as weird around me. For example, singing to the radio at the top of my lungs and having a person beside me competing to be the loudest.

10. Love without demands. Just being accepted for who I am, not forced to fit some mold of who I should be.

viernes, 5 de marzo de 2010

Things I love and why I love them....

The Office - can you seriously ask me why I love this show? 5 words: Dwight Schrute, Jim and Pam! I find myself laughing hysterically almost every episode of this amazing show.

NCIS - Gibbs is like a father figure to a group of silly adults. Tony and Ziva. Abby. McGee. Ducky. Need I say more? Even though they are military, I still love the way the show is put together.

Glee - I think Glee is the best thing to happen to tv in a long time. A lot of it is exaggerated for plot, but I love that it takes place in a high school and that singing and dancing is a big part of the show. Doesn't hurt that Mr. Schuester is a Spanish teacher!!! And that Josh Groban and Kristen Chenoweth are guest stars!!! Lea Michelle reminds me of a young Idina Menzel.

CSI - I love the way they put their scenes/forensics together. The original is the best, Miami is kind of funny because of Horatio's intensity, and I love NY because of Gary Sinise.

House - Hugh Laurie plays an American, sarcastic person, doctor awesomely. And the cases are usually pretty interesting and suspenseful. Wilson is pretty cool too. I like House more since he went to rehab....

Anything on the Food Network - it is calorie free just to watch Giada, Rachel Ray, Paula Deen cook things. Quite amazing!
the Spanish channels/telenovelas -- I feel proud when I can understand what is being said. Rebelde is pretty good.

Moulin Rouge - Ewan. Singing. *Melts* No one is ever going to make me hate this movie.

Titanic - ahh the beginning of the maddness! Epic love story. 3 hours of delicious costumes and cross class love. I kind of dig it..... a lot! Still! FOREVER!

The Twilight Saga - don't be hatin'! Millions of teen girls have read the books, and the movies are pretty good. Everyone loves a good love triangle.

P.S. I Love You - even if Gerard Butler dies right away, his Irish brogue goes on saying lovely things. I don't mind Hilary Swank so much in this. Makes me want to go to Ireland!

Timeline - time travel. history. love. Equals AWESOMENESS! (Did I mention Gerard Butler and Paul Walker?)

Dan in Real Life - Steve Carrell as someone serious but still goofy. Real life can stink....but it is worth the struggle. Juliette Binoche is awesome.

The Phantom of the Opera - Gerard Butler (can you see a pattern?), , amazing singing, Patrick Wilson, mystery, and sexyness.

Harry Potter series -- DUH! IT'S HARRY FRICKIN POTTER! :D

Rent - I love love love the stage show and this movie version Rosario Dawson doing Mimi's singing is amazing....I don't think I would have liked the original gal to be in the film.

Dark Shadows MiniSeries -- although a lot of scenes that are supposed to be at night are obviously during the day, I love the story as ridiculous and supernatural as it is. Vampires, time travel....amazing! And it never really got resolved.

anything by Isabel Allende (Eva Luna, Mi Pais Inventado, Ines of my Soul, Paula)
It started with the story "La mujer del juez." I am pretty much obsessed with anything Isabel produces. Need to get my butt reading the many novels she has!

Camille: The Lady of the Camellias by Alexandre Dumas
inspired Moulin Rouge. Courtesan who is dying of consumption finds love in a young rich handsome man. Except this one isn't poor.

Like Water for Chocolate, Malinche by Laura Esquivel
The first is the better....combining a love story (tragic) with food that sounds really good. Magic Realism so some strange things happen. Like fires at different (ahem) not so appropriate times. aka sexytime.

Jane Eyre By Charlotte Brontë
This book is so much a part of who I am. I feel like I am Jane. But I know that I'm not....she just seems very much like me. Rochester - dark handsome mysterious. Could not put it down.

The Girl with the Pearl Earring, Falling Angels, The Virgin Blue by Tracy Chevalier
Love Chevalier's style. First and third are my favs. Historical details mixed in with sensual descriptions.

The Alanna series by Tamora Pierce
Same story as Jane Eyre - helped shape who I am. Girl who wants to be a knight pretends to be a boy. Girl power!

Spook, Bonk, Stiff By Mary Roach
I am a nerd. I confess. So once I read Stiff *about cadavers and how the human body is used after death to help science, I had to go out and read the other two books.
Spook is about life after death and any experiments that have been done....
Bonk is about sex. But presented in an academic way that's actually kind of funny.

Highlights of intelligent conversation

I overthink, overfeel, etc.

I feel like I'm growing up and maturing and part of that is recognizing my feelings, speaking up, and being around people who are good for me and who I actually like rather than just who is convenient.

Part of the excitement of growing up and getting a job is the unknown part, in spite of how scary it is!

I have had more conflicts with my parents than ever before. In my earlier years I was just kind of a "yes mom yes dad" person, and now I am getting my own ideas and they aren't always the same as my parents' ideas.

My attitude towards everything, including dating, is maturing and getting better.

If people looked for a person of good character rather than instant gratification/sex they'd be a lot happier!

I think people going into relationships with the statistics in mind can really appreciate a good thing when they have it. Knowing how very rare a good person and a good, lasting relationship is kind of adds to the appreciation that people have for one another.

My priorities have changed a lot! To where they should be!

If a relationship can accompany me on my path to greatness then that's great! But really I can't see myself facing life the same as before. I feel like I have a lot more balance. I care about me now. I think any relationship I embark on with that balanced attitude will be more fulfilling for me and the other person in it.

Being cautious is good although sometimes it can influence a person to avoid things that could really be worthwhile. If I said, "oh I'm afraid to go to Spain I'm not going to do it!" I would miss out on something incredibly amazing and worthwhile. I am trying to face the rest of my life with a fearless attitude. Or an attitude of realizing the fears but facing it anyways.

jueves, 4 de marzo de 2010

Love Speaks (Celebs reciting and singing Shakespeare sonnets)

This is an amazing album. A lot of people think of Shakespeare and have a look of disgust on their faces. But anyone who has seen the Leonardo Dicaprio version of Romeo and Juliet, or has seen a stage production knows that Mr. Shakespeare knew his stuff. It helps when a talented person is speaking the words. There are more poems but these are the ones that are sung by well known celebs.

Live With Me And Be My Love by Annie Lennox *actually Christopher Marlowe, not Shakespeare)
Come live with me and be my love,
And we will all the pleasures prove
That valleys, groves, hills, and fields,
Woods or steepy mountain yields.

And we will sit upon the rocks,
Seeing the shepherds feed their flocks,
By shallow rivers to whose falls
Melodious birds sing madrigals.
*there's more but this is all that Annie Lennox chose to sing*

When, In Disgrace With Fortune And Men's Eyes by Rufus Wainwright (he's amazing!)
William Shakespeare - Sonnet #29

When, in disgrace with Fortune and men's eyes,
I all alone beweep my outcast state,
And trouble deaf heaven with my bootless cries,
And look upon myself and curse my fate,
Wishing me like to one more rich in hope,
Featured like him, like him with friends possessed,
Desiring this man's art, and that man's scope,
With what I most enjoy contented least,
Yet in these thoughts myself almost despising,
Haply I think on thee, and then my state,
Like to the lark at break of day arising
From sullen earth, sings hymns at heaven's gate

For thy sweet love remembered such wealth brings,
That then I scorn to change my state with kings.

No More Be Grieved At That Which Thou Hast Done by Keb'Mo'
(Sonnet XXXV: No more be grieved at that which thou hast done)

No more be grieved at that which thou hast done:
Roses have thorns, and silver fountains mud,
Clouds and eclipses stain both moon and sun,
And loathsome canker lives in sweetest bud.
All men make faults, and even I in this,
Authórizing thy trespass with compare,
Myself corrupting salving thy amiss,
Excusing thy sins more than thy sins are:
For to thy sensual fault I bring in sense—
Thy adverse party is thy advocate—
And ‘gainst myself a lawful plea commence.
Such civil war is in my love and hate,
That I an áccessory needs must be
To that sweet thief which sourly robs from me.

How Heavy Do I Journey On The Way by Gemma Jones
How heavy do I journey on the way,
When what I seek, my weary travel's end,
Doth teach that ease and that repose to say
'Thus far the miles are measured from thy friend!'
The beast that bears me, tired with my woe,
Plods dully on, to bear that weight in me,
As if by some instinct the wretch did know
His rider loved not speed, being made from thee:
The bloody spur cannot provoke him on
That sometimes anger thrusts into his hide;
Which heavily he answers with a groan,
More sharp to me than spurring to his side;
For that same groan doth put this in my mind;
My grief lies onward and my joy behind.

The Quality Of Mercy Is Not Strained (Portia - The Merchant Of Venice) by Des'ree

The quality of mercy is not strained.
It droppeth as the gentle rain from heaven,
Upon the place beneath.
It is twice blessed.
It blesseth him that gives and him that takes.
It is mightiest in the mightiest,
It becomes the throned monarch better than his crown.
His sceptre shows the force of temporal power,
An attribute to awe and majesty.
Wherein doth sit the dread and fear of kings.
But mercy is above this sceptred sway,
It is enthroned in the hearts of kings,
It is an attribute to God himself.
And earthly power dost the become likest God's,
Where mercy seasons justice.
Therefore Jew,
Though justice be thy plea, consider this,
That in the course of justice we all must see salvation,
We all do pray for mercy
And that same prayer doth teach us all to render the deeds of mercy.
I have spoke thus much to mittgate the justice of thy plea,
Which if thou dost follow,
This strict court of Venice
Must needs give sentance gainst the merchant there.

The Willow Song (Desdemona - Othello) by Barbara Bonney
A poor soul sat sighing by a sycamore tree,
Sing all the green willow,
Her hand on her bosom, her head on her knee,
Sing willow, willow, willow.

The fresh streams ran by her and murmur'd her moans,
Her salt tears ran from her and soften'd the stones,
Sing willow, willow, willow.

Sing all a green willow must be in my garland,
Sing willow, willow, willow.

The fresh streams ran by her and murmur'd her moans,
Her salt tears ran from her and soften'd the stones,
Sing willow, willow, willow.

Sing all a green willow must be in my garland,
Sing willow, willow, willow.

Music To Hear, Why Hears't Thou Music Sadly by Ladysmith Black Mambazo
Music to hear, why hear'st thou music sadly?
Sweets with sweets war not, joy delights in joy.
Why lov'st thou that which thou receiv'st not gladly,
Or else receiv'st with pleasure thine annoy?
If the true concord of well-tunèd sounds,
By unions married, do offend thine ear,
They do but sweetly chide thee, who confounds
In singleness the parts that thou shouldst bear.
Mark how one string, sweet husband to another,
Strikes each in each by mutual ordering,
Resembling sire and child and happy mother,
Who, all in one, one pleasing note do sing;
Whose speechless song being many, seeming one,
Sings this to thee: "Thou single wilt prove none."

Shall I Compare Thee To A Summer's Day by Bryan Ferry
Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?
Thou art more lovely and more temperate.
Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May,
And summer's lease hath all too short a date.
Sometime too hot the eye of heaven shines,
And often is his gold complexion dimm'd;
And every fair from fair sometime declines,
By chance or nature's changing course untrimm'd;
But thy eternal summer shall not fade
Nor lose possession of that fair thou ow'st;
Nor shall Death brag thou wander'st in his shade,
When in eternal lines to time thou grow'st:
So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this gives life to thee.

Our Revels Now Are Ended (The Tempest, Act IV, Scene I) by Joesph Fiennes
Our revels now are ended. These our actors,
As I foretold you, were all spirits and
Are melted into air, into thin air:
And, like the baseless fabric of this vision,
The cloud-capp'd towers, the gorgeous palaces,
The solemn temples, the great globe itself,
Yea, all which it inherit, shall dissolve
And, like this insubstantial pageant faded,
Leave not a rack behind. We are such stuff
As dreams are made on, and our little life
Is rounded with a sleep.

Pablo Neruda Sonnet 17

"No te amo como si fueras rosa de sal, topacio
o flecha de claveles que propagan el fuego:
te amo como se aman ciertas cosas oscuras,
secretamente, entre la sombra y el alma.

Te amo como la planta que no florece y lleva
dentro de sí, escondida, la luz de aquellas flores,
y gracias a tu amor vive oscuro en mi cuerpo
el apretado aroma que ascendió de la tierra.

Te amo sin saber cómo, ni cuándo, ni de dónde,
te amo directamente sin problemas ni orgullo:
así te amo porque no sé amar de otra manera,

sino así de este modo en que no soy ni eres,
tan cerca que tu mano sobre mi pecho es mía,
tan cerca que se cierran tus ojos con mi sueño."


I don't love you as if you were the salt-rose, topaz
or arrow of carnations that propagate fire:
I love you as certain dark things are loved,
secretly, between the shadow and the soul.
I love you as the plant that doesn't bloom and carries
hidden within itself the light of those flowers,
and thanks to your love, darkly in my body
lives the dense fragrance that rises from the earth.

I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where,
I love you simply, without problems or pride:
I love you in this way because I don't know any other way of loving

but this, in which there is no I or you,
so intimate that your hand upon my chest is my hand,
so intimate that when I fall asleep it is your eyes that close.

miércoles, 3 de marzo de 2010

Why I Want To Teach in a Larger Community

Interview went swimmingly. I am totally in love with this school....I could tell from the time I saw the murals in the hall!

Anywho, though I love my mom dearly, sometimes her practicality brings me down while I'm soaring in the clouds dreaming.... and when you're soaring with the birdies one minute and then have to be brought back down to earth, sometimes it feels like things are crashing down. I know she has in mind what's best for me, and I know that I am maturing because I can handle hearing advice even if I don't agree with it wholeheartedly. My Grama also wants me to stay closer to home -- but this is only just under 2 hours away, a quick drive on the Interstate and I'd be home. I've done 30+ minutes away in a tiny town with no diversity, subbing in my home school (with tons od diversity)....I am looking for something different in my next fulltime position.

Fueled by a coffee had way too late in the day and some worries, I thought I'd write down why a larger school and community appeals to me. That way if I ever have to bring this up in an interview, I will have the words!

First there's the school:
AP Spanish/college credit possibilities
Actual Spanish department vs. me as the department (lonely)

The community:
Actual things to do (wow!)
Opportunities for cultural learning/fieldtrips
Native speakers of Spanish in the area

Rent is more in a large community (I will never have the just under $300 rent that I had at my first apt. But really, your rent has to do with location...)
But so is salary! (I am not kidding you, it is amazing! And I am going to have 16 grad credits so more dinero.)
I need a new car (I'm wondering if I get a little bit of repairs on Lil Red - mi coche - if I can drive it for just a while longer....maybe buy a used car with low miles in Oct/Nov)
I live pretty I think I am going to be able to be doing ok no matter where I go. The few things I like to do in life are read, travel, and learn.

Also, why I like the path I'm taking to gettting my Masters (summer program):
It's during the summer (ideal!)
It only takes 3 years total (an amazingly short amount of time compared to 2 whole years of study if I was doing it full time traditionally).
It's in a Spanish-speaking country
I am not sure it would be less money "stateside" or be possible for me to complete in the same amount of time a Master's in Spanish. I think if I took my Master's in the states, it would take longer...they probably don't offer too many night classes for an MA in Spanish, so the only way I'd get it done would be not working and doing it full time. And I can't NOT work! (Long story)
This way I will get it done sooner, with optimal amount of culture and exposure to native speakers. And I can work on school things (aka my job) during the year, with the exception of my paper between Summer 2011 and 2012. But I could do papers in my sleep.... he he yes true.

I realize where my real mom is coming from and that her background/my grandparents came from a generation that it was work, work, work. I see the value of work and I am not saying that I'm NOT going to work. It is nice in times when I feel like I am not exactly on the same wavelength with some people in my life, that I still have contact with others that seem to "get" it. My Spanish-teacher mom (not my biological mom, just a really amazing former Spanish teacher!) says to me that this program is a once in a lifetime opportunity and I agree. Maybe it is that non-Spanish majors just don't understand. I know there are tons and tons of native speakers around here, but there's just something so magical about living and traveling abroad. And dangit, I am going to do it while I'm single and unattached. There may never be a chance like this again. I am not going to live my life with regrets....and failing to do this program would be something I would regret, I know that in my heart.

If I am given an opportunity and can reasonably do it, why not?

I am learning and growing as a person. I have always had trouble liking myself or having confidence in the things that I do. I think I am still pretty sensitive, but I am realizing that I am pretty dang awesome! And what is more, I am finding out that, out of anyone in the world, I know what I know, what I desire, what I feel BEST. I think realizing that and really believing in what is right for me is a big step towards maturity for me. I realize that achieving my dreams is going to take some elbow grease. I may not always love having the next three summers of my life dictated for me, I may get homesick, or having the extreme amount of work might really tire me out (each day is equivalent to a week of a traditional class I believe). But the end result of a Master's en Español, with cultural experience along the way, is what I want to achieve. If I want to be a college Profe some day, this is the first step. I am going to concentrate on taking that step in the best way for me. I will worry about the next step later.

martes, 2 de marzo de 2010

Book musings

I spoke too soon.

I promise I am going to bed as soon as I can....maybe. ;)

I am a follower of some book blogs and that got me thinking. I love reading...what are places, books, etc that I hold dear? What books do I want to revisit or visit for the first time?

Specific memories connected with books

Les Miserables on a boat in a canal in Costa Rica....along with "Hey There Delilah" in a pair of shared earbuds with my ex.
The Twilight Series in an Anderson hall dorm room....
Mary Roach's 3 sciencey books....Bonk (about sex, but scientifically viewed), Spook (afterlife), Stiff (about dead people), in my bed in my first apartment.
Harry Potter 7 in my room at my house, from after work at about 4 until about 3 am that night. Deathly Hallows, along with the Twilight books, was one that I couldn't put down. Sleep lost when reading is not missed!
Jane Eyre....don't remember where but along with the Alanna books it really affected me, I think it shaped who I became!
Del Amor y Otros Demonios by Gabriel Garcia Marquez (liked!)
100 years of Solitude by Gabo also (very boring!)

Additonally,I remember when the library in my town was in a different place, and it held a lot of positive reading memories.
I like the new library but a lot of my adolescent reading occurred in the old building. It was small and homey too....I remember the way the light would come through the windows and keep you warm while you read.

I am sure there are more, but these are really the ones that stand out.

Books I want to read in Spain, on the plane, or somewhere else (oh man I could have rhymed)!
On the plane
One of my many unread books! Isabel Allende, Julie and Julia, Teresa of Avila, Screwtape Letters,

Reread....Candide, Les Miz, Twilight book in Spanish, Wuthering Heights

In Spain -- my class items!

The way back -- ?

I think I'll be able to keep occupied with my laptop (if I can find a carryon I can fit it into!), blogging, my ipod, and 1-2 books. eating, sleeping.....drawing....possibly planning for my new classroom! Whatever I do, I hope to enjoy!

Interview Jitters

I have an interview tomorrow. I am going to go to bed soon, but before I do, I would like to blog about it a little.

I feel more confident with it having been a teacher and having had multiple interviews before. I am going to try to be professional enthusiastic, not crazy weird enthusiastic. (no weird Spanish speaking, Kelsey, sorry!)

Also, the driving to another town that is rather far away is not so stressful. I know how to get there....getting back, hopefully just as easy. Gotta love the interstate!

I think I have a lot to offer. I have the idea that this school is a lot like my ideal school, and not too far away (within my radius of 2-3 hours). I want to be close to a bigger city for the cultural stuff.

I put together my questions for the school, letter of application, resume, and a little "highlights" sheet (my resume stuff, instructional stuff, and classroom management). I also see these as goals for me to shoot for when I do finally get a job.

Anywho, I hope that my preparation (mental and otherwise) pays off. If nothing else it is good to have an interview. But I think I'm a pretty good candidate!

lunes, 1 de marzo de 2010

6 word memoir

I am a very wordy person sometimes. So when I saw the idea of a six word memoir, I was intrigued. Even Twitter's 140 letters isn't enough sometimes....and my facebook statuses, don't get me started on those! So here are a few attempts on my account....

If a memoir is supposed to sum up my life thus far:
Books are good, life is hard.

what I want my life to be:
Reading, learning, loving, I will prosper.

if what my current state of mind is
Joyful anticipation of the future, wishing....

my life philosophy
solo Dios basta (Only God is enough - 3 words in Spanish); yo soy humana (I am human.)
Only God satisfies, I am human.

What do you see this idea as? What should it be? A lot of those I saw online were more like postsecrets....