miércoles, 7 de abril de 2010

Longing and Contentment

I have said that I am a dreamer, and I am thinking again over what motivates me and why I may need to curb my dreaming tendencies.

I feel like I'm always longing for something. I don't value material things as the most important thing in my life, but I still find myself discontented with where I am in life. I drive a car that gets me where I need to go, but I wish it wasn't a clunker. I live with my parents although it was a necessary step, but I wish I didn't. I have a new boyfriend but I don't see him all the time.

I need to be content with where I am, who I am with, and the specifics of my life right now.

Dreaming is ok, but God isn't a genie! He expects us to put honest effort towards our goals-- that thing that we wanted may not even end up being right for us, and working towards it may let us know that.

Everything in my life is the way it should be right now. Regardless of whether I fully like the way things are. I am a mature person but really, God knows whether certain dreams and desires of mine are meant to be fulfilled.

Every person I meet, good or bad, is meant to be there. I am especially blessed to have reassuring mentor figures to help me down my path. I am also very blessed to have found a very good friend who is now my significant other. As much pain as my former relationship caused be

Every event, every heartache, every feeling has a reason. God knows what he is doing, he is in control of my life. There's no wishing for things to be any other way. But I can work towards things I think are worthwhile and if I don't succeed, there's a reason for that.

God wants us to find contentment in him. If I fulfill myself in God alone, everything else with fall into place -- the place that he wants it to be in. That doesn't mean I shouldn't give my best effort in my job, my relationships, and everything. I just need to not OVERTHINK things, or OVERSTRESS on things I may not have any control over.

I am beginning a book called "Let Nothing Disturb You" based on (who else?) Teresa of Avila's writings. It has 30 entries to be read daily, 1 reading to center you at the beginning of the day, 1 mantra or saying to keep repeating towards the day reminding you of something important, and then a prayer to help you relax and reflect on what the entry said that day.

When I was a leader in a club in high school that was a Christian youth group at a public school, we filled out a sheet with road maps and five blanks on it....I can't remember all of the things it said, but I will use the headings BLESSINGS and PRAYER CONCERNS.

1. I am able to work and have a job that is fulfilling, at least for now
2. my boyfriend. he is a very supportive person.
3. my talents and strengths
4. my willingness to help
5. my family. though we may not always see eye to eye, they are amazing and love me.

1. boyfriend's grandfather
2. my grandma
3. my job search
4. my anxiety about job search, living with parents, traveling to Spain
5. I know I don't do the best I can in all areas of my life. I need to change that.

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