I think I am willing to love authentically. There are a lot of reasons why I am afraid of love or getting involved with someone. I read a site summarizing this book: Ms. Typed: Discover Your True Dating Persaonality and Rewrite your Romantic Future by Michelle R. Callahan, PhD. I could relate to some of the types described in this book, although I didn't read it yet, just an article online.
- Ms. Second Place -- putting everyone else before myself
- Ms. Rose-Colored Glasses - not seeing that a situation (ie my ex) was bad, ignoring red flags
- Ms. Perfect - very idealistic. Wondering if anyone will ever meet my expectations.
I think that being aware of what emotional baggage I have will put me at an advantage. Of course I won't bring this up on a first date, but the guy that is long term material should be willing to hear my emotions. The way I feel and sharing it is so essential to who I am that I can't imagine being with someone who is anti-emotion. I don't think that I need a complete, huggy feely, school counselor type, but really, a person who is unable to talk about their feelings or at least hear others talk about their feelings is going to have a lot of issues.
I am trying to be a positive person so I would try to both share the good and bad with the person I am with, but I think every person wanting a relationship wants someone who is willing to ride the rollercoaster of life through both the lows and highs.
I am doing a lot of thinking if you couldn't tell. Of course I am going to show my best side to whoever I am interested in romantically at first, but I am very desirous of a person who accepts me in spite of my flaws.
This world lets me down a lot of the time. I know in my heart that there are good people with good morals and hearts in the right place. I want to find one to share my life with.
We should be too big to take offense and too noble to give it. - Abraham Lincoln
I try to live by this quote, but sometimes it's really hard! A lot of people say whatever comes to their mind, not caring who it hurts. A lot of people live their lives that way -- "if it feels good, do it." Consequences come from actions as well as words.
I try to realize that when someone says something to me that offends me, there is a reason that they say it. It doesn't make it hurt any less.
I also try not to give offense. But again, it is difficult. I know that I shouldn't do things or live my life because of what it may get me, but I do want to have positive results in this life.....a good feeling, someone appreciating me.... Doing the right thing should be its own reward, but it helps when someone sees that you are a good person. I have to silence the voice in my head that thinks thoughts that are hurtful.
I just wish that life would encourage good behavior.
I know the world is against God's children....and that the wicked prosper in life on Earth, but not afterwards.... that has to be enough.